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Having Such A Son (1)
T/N: Translated by Jen on Broken Jinsei! Please do not repost my translations! All translations outside of Broken Jinsei are stolen and reposted without permission!
Li Hong Yuan, in the past life, was a complete tyrant, and this really wasn’t without reason.
In reality, Jing Wan’s death had greatly traumatized him, the impact very big towards him. It can be said that for a time, his entire mental state all had problems. Just, he himself never realized this bit. And it was precisely at that worst time when he took control of the throne, his killing nature very heavy. This was practically just further aggravating the condition. It can be said that if not for the child Jing Wan left behind, he might have really continued down that path. The outcome of such, one can well imagine.
Even so, Li Hong Yuan still spent quite a long time learning to control his own emotions, controlling his temper, letting himself forcibly pass as a normal person. But, because of the effects from the earlier period, it already couldn’t be erased.
When handling government affairs, he was clear-cut, firm, and wise, but once high officials of the imperial court commit certain errors, his methods were quite vicious. It can be said as easily just seizing the home and exterminating the clan. As such, although he was a tyrant, his popularity among the common people was actually very high.
That’s why, Li Hong Yuan’s temperament right now was actually accumulated during that time. Compared to that time, right now, it was actually already much better. Of course, it was also possible that he’d just concealed it even deeper.
The reason why it was like this was probably because at that time, he was the emperor. He didn’t have any restraints or attachments by his side, so even if curbing his temperament, it was also limited. However, things weren’t the same after his rebirth. But, it was also precisely because of his rebirth that his obsession towards Jing Wan grew even deeper, because she was still perfectly fine, and he completely had the opportunity to have her.
In his past life, Jing Wan’s death had greatly affected him, but he was also very clear that she was already gone, also knowing that the dead cannot come back. He had deep longing that penetrated the bones, but he didn’t do anything perverse either. Doing it would be an extreme insult towards her. Moreover, they just had a one-night stand, and not legitimately husband and wife.
Perhaps because of this, he occasionally would even let go of himself, despite clearly knowing that Jing Wan actually hate men holding women left and right, because he didn’t even have the right to guard his body for her.
She was his only son’s mother, but prior to her death, she’d specially requested to not enter the imperial tombs, and similarly won’t enter the Fu family’s ancestral tombs either. She wasn’t of the imperial family, so why should she enter the imperial tombs, and she, as Fu Yun Ting’s wife, nevertheless got entangled with another man, even having his child. Regardless of the reason, even if she and Fu Yun Ting were only husband and wife in name but not in reality, that was still a betrayal. Since she betrayed, then what face does she still have to occupy the position by her husband’s side.
She was strict towards others, but she was similarly strict towards herself.
Li Hong Yuan was actually very jealous of Fu Yun Ting, not just because of Jing Wan sacrificing herself for the Fu family, but also because of her sacrifices for Fu Yun Ting, and her loyalty towards him. As such, even if in the past life, he’d actually possessed someone else’s wife, even having her give birth to his child, and in this lifetime, Jing Wan further didn’t have any connections with Fu Yun Ting, it still wasn’t able to erase that thorn in his heart.
Just because…………
Even if separately choosing a place to have her buried, she still held onto the title of the Wu’an Marchioness. And because afterwards, he had Wu’an Marquis Fu Yun Ting’s case overturned, everything she’d done became known to all. The people of the world revered her, and worshiped her, but she also got tightly tied together with Fu Yun Ting. And at the time, Li Hong Yuan’s heart hadn’t completely turned black, taking Jing Wan’s reputation into consideration, not wanting for her to be criticized by people, bearing a tainted name. That’s why, he could only helplessly watch.
Aside from Li Hong Yuan himself, no one knew who his son’s mother was. Even the Luo family all didn’t know. Even the guards that went with him to go see her one last time and have his son brought back also didn’t know that, that was actually a daughter of the Luo clan, the Wu’an Marchioness.
Afterwards, he did mention to his son who his mother was, even harboring a bit of malice.
Yet, in the end, his son told him, he already knew everything. He’d inadvertently seen the painting his imperial father painted for his mother, even having heard his imperial father’s drunken words. He knew that was the Wu’an Marchioness. He didn’t know where his mother’s grave was, so has never once offered sacrifices to her, but in reality, he has always worshiped a nameless tablet. This matter was actually known by many people in the palace, aside from the Emperor Li Hong Yuan. The palace servants knew that that memorial tablet was very important to the crown prince, not allowing anyone to touch. And they also vaguely understood that that tablet most likely represented the crown prince’s birth mother.
The crown prince was also aware that his imperial father actually didn’t really like him. Even if the palace servants all say that before he turned one, it’d always been his imperial father personally taking care of him, and when he was less than a year old, he was already conferred into the crown prince. He didn’t have any siblings, but he had many extraordinarily knowledgable teachers, enjoying the best of everything in the world.
TN: All translations outside of Broken Jinsei are stolen and reposted without permission!
That time, Li Hong Yuan was unusually silent. Towards his son, he neither liked nor was close to, but he has never guarded against him, else he wouldn’t have let him see his drunken state. His son was still less than ten, yet he was mature like a little adult. He enjoyed the best of everything, yet didn’t turn arrogant and willful. He was taught very well. He was outstanding, sensible, and considerate.
“You’re like your mother.” Li Hong Yuan said as such.
The little crown prince for once smiled bashfully, “They all say she was very good.” He knew that the matter between his parents was something not tolerated by the people of the world. However, he wasn’t ashamed of his mother. In contrast, he heard of many things regarding his mother. He had yearning towards her, and also had a child-like admiration, thinking what it would be like if she was still alive.
“She was very good.” Afterwards, Li Hong Yuan told him the whereabouts of Jing Wan’s grave.
Li Hong Yuan believed that he didn’t have any right to worship her, but their son did. In this world, there was no one with more qualifications than this child.
Since then, the little crown prince would all go pay his respects every year, at least twice, stopped by neither wind nor rain.
Perhaps it was also after that time……The two of them perhaps were still not close, but Li Hong Yuan began teaching him how to be a ruler, and not just have him thrown to those imperial tutors. After all, those people ultimately were just subjects.
This of course was something welcomed by all, but the court officials also faintly worried that Li Hong Yuan’s certain extreme thoughts would influence the crown prince. They didn’t dare to say anything to Li Hong Yuan, so could only secretly teach the crown prince some things.
And the crown prince was actually well aware inside, but he never pointed out, seriously learning everything.
Thus, while Li Hong Yuan was feeling that his son was not like him, and after his death, perhaps would get bullied, and while the court officials were feeling how great it was that the crown prince was benevolent and kind, yet also not lacking in wisdom and decisiveness, the little crown prince that gradually grew up actually already mastered the way of a ruler, mastering the thick black theory[1]. Furthermore, Li Hong Yuan had let him come in contact with government affairs early on, even having some unimportant matters all handed to him to take care of. Those were all genuine experiences, and not theories on paper.
That’s why, that was just a typical white steamed bun filled with black sesame.
As such, Li Hong Yuan leaving behind a great deal of trump cards for his son, ensuring the stability of his rule, was actually a bit unnecessary. Those things were just flowers on top of brocade, even though the crown prince was still less than seventeen years old when ascending the throne.
There was actually another thing that Li Hong Yuan didn’t know. And that was that after his death, his son had him buried together with Jing Wan. The coffin in the imperial tombs was actually empty. The crown prince used this kind of method to let his parents rest together in death despite not sharing the bed in life, only wishing for them to be able to genuinely become husband and wife in the next life. This perhaps was also the only thing he could do as their son.
After Li Hong Yuan’s rebirth, his target was just Jing Wan, Jing Wan, Jing Wan. Everything else was all secondary, all a foundation for obtaining Jing Wan, and perhaps hold up that piece of sky that she wanted the most.
And this time, he was able to do everything legitimately, able to rightfully and properly stand by her side. The ones that don’t have the right will be others. That’s why, his heart also darkened to the point of no return. Everything that got in his way, regardless of innocent or not, he will unhesitantly eradicate. There was no reason or sentiments to speak of.
Just, at the start of his rebirth, his body’s age was still small, unable to do anything. When not possessing the power, prematurely exposing oneself will result in losing everything before even starting. He absolutely wasn’t that kind of idiot. In those several years, everything forced him endure. As the saying goes, ‘a hundred endurance becomes steel’.
And Jing Wan feeling that the living Enma was a perverted snake demon actually wasn’t wronging him either. His mental state indeed had a bit of problems occasionally. Those were the aftereffects extending from his past life. Because having Jing Wan legitimately become his, in a certain sense, greatly pacified him, at least on the surface, he appeared as if he was already fine. However, it was true that ‘a hundred endurance becomes steel’, but in a place hidden deep beneath the surface, it was actually even more serious. Several years of silently enduring, if unable to erupt from within, then naturally it was just becoming even more perverse.
Stubborn possession, perverse control………Just, worrying that he would scare Jing Wan, that’s why, he was still controlling himself.
If not for those several years in the palace, if Li Hong Yuan just had the opportunity to wield power as soon as he returned, if from the start, he was just able to have Jing Wan confined by his side, then even if given a second chance at life, between him and Jing Wan, perhaps it would be even more tragic.
[1] The Thick Black Theory – A philosophical treatise by Li Zhong Wu, a disgruntled politician and scholar during the early 1900s. It’s based on his, in my opinion, very unconventional view of history and historical figures. The idea behind the name roughly means that to obtain and hold onto power people need to shameless(thick-faced) and ruthless(black-hearted). He mentions several famous historical figures in his work as examples to support his claim, such as Cao Cao and Liu Bei. According to him, “A great hero is no more than a person who is impudent and wicked.”
Personally, I find him a bit radical in his views, but nonetheless for our context, it just means that the little crown prince isn’t as innocent as he appears on the surface.
T/N: Tbh Li Hong Yuan’s relationship with his son is quite funny, he constantly mentions how he doesn’t like his son, yet he ends up doing so much for his son as well. Back in chapter 101 where his son was first mentioned, LHY says how he endured the pain from his body that was falling apart just so he can live long enough for his son to grow up. In chapter 465, he talks about how he left the legendary Nine Cauldrons for his son as a trump card, because he worried that his reputation as a tyrant would negatively affect his son’s rule. There’s actually more stuff later on that reveals that he cares for his son more than he likes to admit. Jing Wan isn’t wrong to call him a tsundere.
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Onions… my mom just had to see me bawling 😂
🧅🧅🧅🔪
sounds like the Son ended up being raised as a mini-combo of him and Jing Wan XD
The perfect ratio lol