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Rebirth
T/N: Translated by Jen on Broken Jinsei! Please do not repost my translations! All translations outside of Broken Jinsei are stolen and reposted without permission!
Amidst the paper money, joss sticks, and curling pale smoke, the cries of grief shook the heavens.
The new emperor personally gracing the funeral, the clansmen and hundreds of officials kneeling to send off.
Countless offerings and sacrifices, poems and couplets of mourning, the endless cries of sorrow, an illustrious and grand funeral.
While half dreaming and half awake, Yu Lingxin seemingly saw that day twelve years ago again. The day of her husband’s funeral, the powerful Wen’an Marquis Xun Che that died of illness. Plain white silk filled the land and skies, as far as the eyes can see, the endless rows of sacrifices offered along the funeral procession.
“Actually, it was all fake. They all hated him.”
She couldn’t help but mutter like sleep talk.
Her body was burning up, yet her forehead filled with layer upon layers of cold sweat again. Her four limbs and bones ached like it was about to dig into the cracks of her bones, her breathing also increasingly rough.
Yu Lingxin wanted to open her eyes, but she was unable to. She hazily thought to herself that she probably was having a nightmare due to the illness.
The pipes and reeds that sounded the funeral were seemingly still lingering by her ear. At the same time, there were various kinds of racket mixed in.
There was the Xun family clansmen, criticizing her that as the Wen’an Marchioness, having no children under her, she shouldn’t let the adopted son from the clan inherit Wen’an Marquis Manor.
There was her maiden family, the Yu family relatives, nagging about how unfilial she was, letting her father Yu Bocheng, and grandmother Yu old madam, be heartbroken, harboring regret, prematurely dying at the borders.
There was also her birth mother Qi-shi, that biological mother that had long divorced and remarried, yet ceaselessly clung to her for her whole life, like a leech, having her dowry and life squeezed dry until there was nothing left……………
The tide-like scolding and coercion, the fussy quarrels coming like a wave, spiraling and spiraling, but gradually also melting into the boundless darkness.
Why? Why won’t these people just let her off?
Yu Lingxin wanted to ask out loud, but the stuffy feeling inside grew even more, her head also beginning to pierce with pain. Between her breaths, it was seemingly like having a thousand pound giant rock pressed on her chest, wanting to have her thoroughly crushed into pieces.
Should she just resign to her fate?
Her life, ever since getting forcibly taken away from the capital at thirteen by her birth mother, it was just one step wrong, every step wrong. As for the ten plus years married into the Wen’an Marquis Manor after returning to the capital five years later, it was further just having glory on the surface.
TN: All translations outside of Broken Jinsei are stolen and reposted without permission!
Since that’s the case, perhaps just dying of illness like this is also a kind of release.
But she wasn’t willing to resign.
Regardless of how weak and painful her body was, in that endless pain, Yu Lingxin still held a faint thought, she really wasn’t willing to resign to her fate.
…….
…….
…….
“Miss, miss?” A crisp young girl’s voice sounded by her ear.
Yu Lingxin was hazy and somewhat confused. This was Ganlu’s voice, just it was Ganlu’s voice in her youth. Didn’t she go with her husband to the Ji province the year before last………….
“Miss, miss?” Ganlu called out again, even lightly patting Yu Lingxin’s shoulder.
This time, she finally woke up, strugglingly opening her eyes, seeing the winding jade color bed curtains embroidered with silktree flowers above her. The scent of aged plum blossoms lingered around her nose, light and sweet, precisely her favorite incense when she was young.
“Did miss have a nightmare again? To be sweating this much.” Ganlu hurriedly poured a cup of warm honey water, and gently went to help up the just woken Yu Lingxin, “Drink a bit of water first to moisten the throat. Later, still need to go pay respect to the old madam.”
Yu Lingxin took two sips of the honey water in Ganlu’s hand, her body feeling light and brisk again, her head also rapidly clearing up along with——Indeed, just now, it was all just a nightmare, that’s all. The her in this very moment already wasn’t that mentally and physically exhausted, heavily ill widow of Wen’an Marquis that was on the verge of death.
The her right now had returned to her boudoir days prior to marrying, or perhaps should say, returning again to the sixth month of Tianxu[1] year 13, that period of time prior to getting tricked into leaving the capital by her birth mother Qi-shi in the previous life.
“Is miss still a bit tired?” Seeing Yu Lingxin’s complexion, Ganlu couldn’t help but worry a little. After hesitating for a moment, she still softly urged, “The last few times you went to the Kou family, it’s all staying for four to five days, missing out on paying respect to the old madam three times front to back. Today, even if miss is somewhat unwell, still endure a little.”
Yu Lingxin’s heart sunk, quickly recalling those past memories, her heart just filling with complex feelings———In the past, exactly how weak and muddled was she?
Her birth mother Qi-shi had remarried to the Kou family for already more than ten years, bearing and raising children, long having become the legitimate Kou family madam. In the first eight to nine years, they all didn’t come and go much, yet this year, she just began frequently sending invitations and passing word, wanting her to go to the Kou family for a short stay. Every time going, it was at least needing to stay for four to five days before being able to return. If Yu Lingxin were to even slightly mention wanting to go home early, Qi-shi would either scold her for being unfilial and coldhearted, or just loudly cry about how her life was difficult.
The her at the time usually would just comply.
Firstly, it was because of feeling that Qi-shi was indeed unhappy in the Kou family, and secondly, it was also because of those subtle relations in the Yu family.
Her grandmother Yu old madam was her stepmother Su-shi’s maternal aunt. In the previous life, Yu Lingxin kept feeling that her grandmother won’t love her that much and must further value her younger brother Yu Zhenghua, or second younger sister Yu Yunxin, that were given birth to by her stepmother.
Thinking of it now, it practically couldn’t be more wrong!
Back then, when Qi-shi wanted a divorce with her father Yu Bocheng and remarry, Yu old madam, who had failed at dissuading, had the two families’ elders gathered together, agreeing to separately allocate a dowry for Yu Lingxin, who at the time was still an infant, as a foundation, so as to avoid, when the two respectively remarry and have children again, forget and mistreat Yu Lingxin, this daughter of a divorce.
Because in Qi-shi and Yu Bocheng’s marriage, the two families all had many inside stories, under guilt, and mainly also under Yu old madam’s insistence, never mind Qi-shi and Yu Bocheng respectively putting in money, even the Chang’de Count Qi family and the Yu family all took out a sum of money and land deeds from their family’s public funds. The total sum of this dowry was already much higher than the standard for the di daughters of noble families in the capital.
Qi-shi insisting on having her stay with the Kou family, not hesitating to drug her to forcibly take her away from the capital, even nearly having her married to a distant relative of questionable moral character, it was simply just for the sake of plotting for this ample sum of dowry money, so as to make up for her own vanity and dignity in the Kou family, as well as for that wastrel in every sense of the word di son that was just recorded under her name.
Whenever she would persuade or question in the slightest, Qi-shi would just throw a tantrum and cause a huge scene, both crying and screaming. After years of torment, Yu Lingxin finally came to an understanding in the past life. Even if she was indebted to Qi-shi for giving birth to her, there was still no reason for her to sacrifice herself for the Kou family.
In contrast, her grandmother Yu old madam truly loved her to the extreme, wholeheartedly considering for her.
In the previous life, why did she just feel that she should obey the greedy and violent Qi-shi, and distance her grandmother?
Thinking to here, Yu Lingxin’s heart couldn’t help but ruthlessly clench, falling silent again, before finally nodding towards Ganlu, “En, help me comb a neat and orderly hairstyle. Grandmother doesn’t like those overly fancy ones.”
Seeing her own miss have a change of heart, Ganlu naturally happily agreed, serving Yu Lingxin in changing and grooming, carefully dressing up.
Following along Ganlu’s movements, Yu Lingxin gazed towards herself in the mirror——brows like distant mountains, lips like holding a pearl, and her skin snow white and lustrous. Her pretty and delicate facial features was approximately sixty to seventy percent similar to her mother Qi-shi, while her two brows and nose bridge further resembled her father Yu Bocheng, among the bright charming features, containing three part solemnness.
In regards to appearance, she actually really far surpassed her sisters in the family.
Just, the Yu Lingxin in the previous lifetime, because of knowing that her mother Qi-shi had divorced and remarried ever since she was little, and that her stepmother Shu-shi was also her grandmother’s niece, also very loving with her father, bearing and raising children, thorough in managing the household, not a single flaw on the surface, even if she had some sort of grievance, feeling sullen, she still didn’t dare to easily voice it, and could only be depressed on her own.
Day after day, the perfectly fine Head Minister Manor eldest di daughter unexpectedly got raised into a weak and timid personality, otherwise she wouldn’t have gotten forcibly taken away by Qi-shi easily like that, getting casually manipulated.
“Miss, how about wearing this ruby hairpin today?” The skillful Ganlu had already combed a neat and delicate meiyun[2] bun, taking out an exquisite red plum flower gold hairpin for her to look over.
This hairpin used gold to forge the plum flower branches and leaves. On the head of the hairpin were two sheep-fat white jade[3] as the clouds, and five rubies arranged into petal shapes. In the middle, there was even gold threads and fine pearl as the flower stamen, delicate and peerless. It was given to her by her father for her twelfth birthday last year.
In the past life, she extremely loved this hairpin, just she very rarely wore it. Probably because her frame of mind was bitter and gloomy, even brightly colored clothes, she would all wear very little of, her entire person not having any spirit. Wearing the hairpin, even she felt she was unable to uphold, very much incompatible. And afterwards, when she got taken to the Jiang province by Qi-shi, the accessories and ornaments in her trousseau and dowry don’t know how many either openly or secretly got ‘borrowed’ away by Qi-shi. This hairpin naturally also could no longer be found.
Thinking to here, a bitter smile rose on her lips, unsure exactly what she was feeling inside.
Exactly whether she was pitying her past life’s misery, or hating herself for once being weak, she also wasn’t sure.
However, there was one thing she was very certain.
In this lifetime, she absolutely won’t live that sullenly again, and further won’t let Qi-shi casually scheme against her!
“Just wear this.” Yu Lingxin’s brows curved into a smile, “Then find a matching outfit. Going to pay respect to the old madam, need to at least appear spirited.”
“Yes!” Ganlu although slightly blanked, seemingly feeling that the eldest miss today is somewhat different from usual, but this difference was nevertheless extremely good. Even her response was even more joyous, immediately going to pick two light and vibrant woven silk dress and serving Yu Lingxin in changing.
Once dressed, Yu Lingxin went out with Ganlu, heading to her grandmother’s Dongli Residence.
As soon as they left the courtyard, turning onto to the winding corridor, they just saw a delicate looking servant girl wearing a silvery red bijia[4] in front directly coming over, precisely the first rank servant girl Caixia that her stepmother Su-shi assigned to her courtyard.
When meeting face to face, Caixia actually also blanked for a moment, before finally greeting with a smile, “Eldest miss’s attire today truly is refreshing. This is……….”
“Naturally it’s going to pay respect to the old madam.” Yu Lingxin’s pretty face carried an empty smile, and after answering, just continued walking.
Caixia’s heart strangely jumped, “Eldest miss, you……..didn’t you just receive the madam’s invitation? Not going to prepare———”
Yu Lingxin paused in her steps, directly looking towards Caixia, “Which madam?”
Caixia couldn’t help but be tongue-tied, increasingly confused as to what was wrong with the usually soft and good-natured eldest miss these days, but she still hesitantly lowered her voice a little, “The madam this servant speak of is naturally your mother, the Kou family madam.”
Yu Lingxin had Caixia swept from head to toe again, bright and tender rouge and powder on her fair and clear face, a brand new silvery red bijia embroidered with colorful threads, and on that pair of white wrists, two gold and silver bracelets, glittery and luxurious, quite the rich look of a large family high ranking servant girl.
In her past life, when she was young, she had felt that Caixia was a considerate and clever person, always properly delivering word for Qi-shi, also knowing to avoid her stepmother Su-shi for all things, and when encountering matters, she also had ingenious ideas, to the extent that afterwards, after leaving the capital, she even somewhat missed Caixia.
Thinking of it now, actually, Su-shi’s method of using Caixia to build the bridge and stoke the fire really wasn’t considered that brilliant.
“Since you know it’s the ‘Kou family’ madam, then don’t inappropriately address in the courtyard.” Yu Lingxin in the end didn’t immediately say anything excessive either. A servant girl wasn’t worth bothering over at this moment, just indifferently saying this line and leaving with Ganlu.
There were truly too many important matters before her right now, and the most pressing was thoroughly severing Qi-shi’s intention of kidnapping her away from the capital again!
[1] Tianxu [天旭] – The year is named after the current emperor’s reign, so year thirteen means it’s thirteen years into the current emperor’s reign. When a new emperor ascends the throne the name of the year will be changed and the numbers reset. Tianxu roughly means dawn sky or sky of the rising sun.
[2] Mei Yun Ji [梅云髻] – ‘Plum flower cloud bun’, this hairstyle feels like it’s made up by the author since I couldn’t find anything about it, by the name it sounds like a hair-bun shaped like a plum flower on top the head. There is a similarly named hairstyle called 随云髻 (cloud following bun), pictured below.
[3] Sheep-fat white jade – A type of pure white jade, highly expensive.
[4] Bijia – A bit like a vest worn over the dress, the length of it can vary, as shown below. A common trait is that it’s sleeveless.
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Jen, seems like an awesome story, and also, I have a feeling you love stoties which include awesome Grandmas! If you have any recs for others please let me know!
yay new story. But why in Novelupdate is it under the previous novel? Please check.
I must hav forgotten to edit the tags, NU adds the links automatically, I’ll hav to contact their mods later. Thanks for letting me know.