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Three Years
T/N: Translated by Jen on Broken Jinsei! Please do not repost my translations! All translations outside of Broken Jinsei are stolen and reposted without permission!
“Eldest sister, it was I that wasn’t considerate.” Yu Zhengshan completely didn’t notice the address in Xun Che’s words, just hurriedly explaining, “Xun second brother just happened to come to the academy today to visit Teacher Zhou. It was I that was worried about the matters at home. Mainly, it was still because of eldest sister, so voluntarily asked Xun second brother whether or not one can ride his horse carriage. Moreover, I also have two scrolls of Great Scholar Liu’s calligraphy from the previous dynasty, so also took the chance to inquire Xun second brother about calligraphy.”
Yu Zhengshan’s explanation although sounded reasonable, but Yu Lingxin nevertheless instinctively sensed that Xun Che’s gaze seemingly was a bit peculiar. Composing herself, she lifted her eyes to meet with his.
His face naturally was still that nonchalant, unmoved by the eight winds[1], carrying a fitting yet modest smile, just to the degree where it was polite to the occasion.
However, Xun Che’s gaze nevertheless reflected limitless joy, just fixedly gazing at her like this.
Yu Lingxin immediately jumped inside. This gaze, she was very familiar with. She seemingly had seen before in the past. Their eyes actually only met for an instant, yet it felt somewhat unbearable.
Unknown as to whether or not it was because of the warm summer heat, her face also started burning slightly. Yu Lingxin hurriedly lowered her eyes, “Zhengshan is still small. Shizi should pay attention more.”
Just, when such a line that carried a bit of annoyance came out, she immediately just regretted.
She and him actually shouldn’t be this familiar!
For the current them, they can only be considered indirect relatives of indirect relatives, having only met a total of three times. And every time, it was always her somewhat owing the other party.
The first time, it was her bumping into Xun Che in the Chang’de Count Manor.
The second time, it was Xun Che ‘passing by’ the count manor’s second gate, helping her out of a dilemma.
And this time, it was Xun Che ‘helping’ Yu Zhengshan.
Counting it like this, she all shouldn’t rebuke the other party.
“Eldest sister, these words are too heavy.” Yu Zhengshan was practically startled, completely not expecting that his usually very gentle eldest tang sister would actually directly blame the guest.
Yu Lingxin at this time also came to realization, and could only lightly cough, slightly bowing, somewhat making up for her mistake, “What I mean is that today really is bad timing. The elders at home have matters to attend to, so afraid won’t be able to meet with shizi. You’re an honored guest, to be this inconsiderate in receiving, truly sorry.”
Xun Che listened to her softly speak. Then, seeing her pretty cheeks dye with a light blush, his slender fingers practically moved on instinct, but immediately after, he quickly pressed down the bubbling emotions inside, once again bowing out of courtesy, his gentle voice tranquil like usual, “Younger cousin is too serious. Suddenly visiting today was indeed rude. Since unable to meet the elders, this foolish brother will just take one’s leave first.”
Yu Lingxin inwardly relaxed a breath, slightly curtsying, “Shizi take care.”
TN: All translations outside of Broken Jinsei are stolen and reposted without permission!
Yu Zhengshan felt increasingly apologetic. Xun Che, however, didn’t seem to mind. Although he’d slightly paused in his movement, but on the surface, he was still composed. Seemingly his visit this time really was just an ordinary schoolmate just passing by. After nodding his head towards Yu Lingxin and Yu Zhengshan in response, he just turned and left.
It wasn’t good for Yu Zhengshan to continue grumbling at Yu Lingxin in front of Xun Che, so could only quickly follow after, personally sending off Xun Che.
And Yu Lingxin, seeing Xun Che leave this swiftly, similarly felt very uneasy inside.
Actually, last time, when coming back from the Chang’de Count Manor, she already had this kind of suspicion. Based on Xun Che’s careful and steady nature, while visiting the Qi family as a guest, how could he possibly linger near the second gate, and even suddenly pass by, inquiring about some indirect relative’s quarrel. And the Kou family’s horse carriage, how did it suddenly break down?
Then, today, not only did Yu Zhengshan just this coincidentally discover Huichun Hall’s matter, he even directly brought the person home. Xun Che’s traces were already clear without a doubt.
Following this train of thought, she for the most part can confirm, Xun Che must have similarly returned. Just, she didn’t know whether Xun Che was the exact same as her, returning half a month ago, or at a different time.
But, without a doubt, he wasn’t someone that should originally have no relations with the Yu family at this time. He certainly must recognize her, and moreover, also remember those matters of the past life.
On the way back to Lianyi Residence, Yu Lingxin was all very quiet.
Ganlu who followed after her didn’t sense anything that was obviously out of place. After all, what she heard today at the old madam’s place really can be considered a major matter.
The madam, Su-shi, actually secretly cooperated with Madam Kou, wanting to have eldest miss sent to the Kou family as extra luggage, and when leaving for the outer post, also take out of the capital along with?
Recalling Madam Kou’s violent temper, Ganlu just tensed up. This was still in the capital. If the eldest miss really goes with Madam Kou, even if getting swallowed whole, it all won’t be anything strange.
Thinking of it like this, the eldest miss being in a heavy mood at this time was also reasonable. Ganlu, in fact, didn’t even consider that it might be related to the eldest young master and Xun-shizi just now. After serving Yu Lingxin in changing and washing up, she just quietly retreated out, leaving Yu Lingxin alone on her own.
Yu Lingxin also didn’t pay attention to Ganlu’s thoughts. At this time, her entire mind was filled with those distant and blurry memories of the past life, gradually recalling, truly unclear as to exactly how she felt.
From the marriage ceremony at the beginning of Tianxu year 19 to the funeral at the beginning of Tianxu year 22, she and him merely only spent that kind of three years together.
Although husband and wife in name, and he also gave her all the honor and glory as the Wen’an Marchioness, but Xun Che’s body at the time truly was too sickly and weak. Never mind having the opportunity to consummate the marriage, in those three years, their most intimate action was probably just sitting together holding hands, or her sleeping fully dressed by his sickbed.
Sometimes, Yu Lingxin would feel, rather than say they were husband and wife for three years, it was better to say that they were friends for three years. Because, aside from taking care of Xun Che’s medical needs and daily life, the only thing left that she could do was just keep him company, as well as when he was struggling in pain due to the poison, hold his shriveled up hand and guard by his side.
And in the final six months, the time that Xun Che could sit up for everyday all didn’t exceed six hours. Additionally, he even needed to allocate four hours to read memorandums, letters, meet with the crown prince’s people, and even occasionally get lifted into the palace in a sedan.
The result of straining his body like that was just in the end, regardless whether it was some heavenly snow lotus or millennium ginseng, it all didn’t have any effect. Every night, Xun Che would always restlessly toss and turn from the pain, unable to sleep peacefully. And starting from then, she would just sleep on the little recliner by his side everyday waiting on him, practically needing to wake up once every hour, seeing whether or not she needed to change the towel for him, or pour a bowl of warm medicine or water.
This habit maintained all the way until she herself also died of illness in the last lifetime. Even in the following ten plus years she lived as a widow, she would still wake up in the middle of the night from time to time, wanting to see whether Xun Che was still fine. Just, by that time, the only thing still with her was just that memorial tablet that she frequently wiped and caressed.
This kind of fate, can it be considered love?
Yu Lingxin occasionally would also think this in the previous life, especially whenever she was wiping Xun Che’s memorial tablet out of habit. She frequently would recall Xun Che’s smiling look, his gentle gaze, as well as the pain and sorrow that he did his best to cover up.
He probably still liked her a bit, right?
But at that time, liking or not, what meaning was there? Prior to marrying, she’d actually already heard, the young Wen’an Marquis was already deeply poisoned, and afraid won’t last for more than a year.
Afterwards, Xun Che being able to endure for an entire three years, personally watching the crown prince ascend the throne before finally passing away, it already exceeded the imperial physicians’ expectations.
As for the present, just thinking about it, Yu Lingxin already felt increasingly messy inside.
For him to repeatedly help out on her matters, clearly it was remembering the past, and probably can also be considered remembering old sentiments. Just, these old feelings, perhaps it was just remembering that she once meticulously and strenuously took care of him on his sickbed.
If to say there were other factors, she actually didn’t dare to think too much.
After about the time for two cups of tea, Yu Zhengshan, who’d returned from sending off the guest, came to Lianyi Residence with a dejected look, his forehead still sweaty.
As soon as he entered, he just immediately bowed first, “Eldest sister, today, I was wrong.”
Yu Lingxin was a bit astonished, first letting someone bring him mung bean soup and a towel to wipe his face, before softly asking, “What’s wrong?” She slightly pondered, yet felt that it wasn’t too possible, “Did Xun-shizi say something after sending him out?”
“No.” Yu Zhengshan although was still angry on the surface, clearly feeling bad about rashly sending Xun Che away like this, but when looking towards Yu Lingxin, there was also genuine apology in his eyes, “Xun second brother is right. Today, a major matter has occurred at home, so you certainly must feel awful inside, perhaps even having gotten frightened. For me to bring a guest home at this time, it’s indeed inappropriate. Eldest sister is right to lecture.”
Hearing Yu Zhengshan repeatedly call out ‘Xun second brother’, Yu Lingxin felt increasingly awkward, but for Yu Zhengshan to be able to turn around like this and not blame her, in the end, it was still because of caring for her, this older sister, so these words still warmed her heart.
As for whether or not these words also had Xun Che’s influence, she temporarily didn’t want to ask. Having finally gained a new chance at life, at this time, it was still her family that was the most important.
[1] This phrase is an idiom, and the eight winds refers to the eight winds in buddhist teachings, namely success, decline, defamation, honor, praise, mockery, hardship, and joy.
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This is a pretty decent setup. ML and FL have a super deep connection to each other but at the same time there’s a ton of unexplored ground in their relationship.
I’m glad they were friends first. So we know it’s not just about lust, they generally enjoy each others company. Afterall, it’s said that love is friendship that has caught fire.
In any case they obviously really love eachother even if they weren’t able to explore it romanticly. Otherwise Xun Che wouldn’t have held on three years when only one was expected and Tu Lingxin wouldn’t have kept thΓ© habits from taking care of him for years after his death.
hmmm…. interesting!πππ