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To Not Lose Out
T/N: Translated by Jen on Broken Jinsei! Please do not repost my translations! All translations outside of Broken Jinsei are stolen and reposted without permission!
However, despite being angry, two days later, when Wen mama came over to ask Yu Lingxin whether or not she wanted to go to Jingfu Temple together with the old madam, Yu Lingxin still swept a glance at little Bai Guo who was trimming leaves in the courtyard, lightly nodding her head.
Ever since Yu old master passed away, the Yu family, aside from Qingming[1], Dragon Boat Festival, and New Year’s, these major holidays, they also needed to visit Jingfu Temple once every two months to light lanterns and pray, so it can also be considered something they were very familiar with. Although this time, there wasn’t the madam, Su-shi, accompanying along, the preparations, the servants were already very familiar with, handling properly and orderly.
In comparison, Yu Lingxin was instead a bit nervous.
When changing and grooming, Ganlu already faintly sensed that Yu Lingxin’s mood today seemingly was different from normal.
After scaling the horse carriage and exiting the gate, the entire way, Yu Lingxin didn’t say a single word. Ganlu just became even more nervous, “Miss, do you have something on your mind? Could it be, you’re thinking of Madam Kou?”
The news in regards to Kou Xian very possibly getting appointed to the Quan province and not the Jiang province, in these last two days, have already formally spread out. Because, Qi-shi has been crying to the heavens over this matter, continuously visiting the relatives, probably wanting to find the right connections and think of a way to resolve this matter.
In this kind of frenzy, Qi-shi even came to the Yu Manor once. Just, this time, she didn’t mention wanting to see Yu Lingxin again, instead asking to meet with Yu old madam.
Back then, in Qi-shi and Yu Bocheng’s divorce, the responsibility was mainly still on Yu Bocheng, so Yu old madam more or less has felt guilty towards Qi-shi for many years.
But, ever since this time, where Qi-shi tried to kidnap Yu Lingxin from the capital, Yu old madam no longer had that much guilt left. Although she politely had Qi-shi invited in, she still explicitly expressed that towards the matter of Kou Xian’s appointment outside of the capital, she was also powerless, also mentioning that at present, Yu Lingxin has already grown up, and in the future, if she wants to visit her daughter, she is welcome to visit their manor, but no longer allowed to call Yu Lingxin to the Kou Manor.
Actually, Qi-shi at this time no longer cared about these things, just vigorously crying. After all, if Kou Xian really gets appointed to a far away region, in front of her will just be a hopeless situation.
If she follows him, then she will thoroughly say goodbye to flourishing and extravagant capital city, not knowing which poor mountains and dirty waters she will be strugglingly spending her days in.
But if she doesn’t follow along, then regardless whether Kou Xian takes one of his current concubines, or purchase another one in the Quan province, this concubine in the future will all become a threat to her, her position difficult to rock.
All in all, this kind of awkward situation, at present, Qi-shi has already cried to all the relatives to the point where it was known by all.
Yu old madam can’t really be considered to be that sympathetic towards her. Regardless whether it was the Quan province or the Jiang province, these distant regions ultimately need officials serving there. If not Kou Xian, then it will just be someone else. No matter which family, they will all face this kind of difficult situation.
In comparison, starting from Yu old madam, the entire family was further worried whether or not Yu Lingxin will concerned and worried because of Qi-shi’s dilemma.
It wasn’t good for Yu Lingxin to explain anything either, so could only vaguely respond and then lower her head.
Actually, she wasn’t the least bit worried about Qi-shi. This wasn’t really because she’d already thoroughly severed all feelings for Qi-shi, but rather, because deep down, she kept vaguely feeling that the re-examination of the six ministries’ evaluations this time, and the changes in Kou Xian’s appointment, it certainly must be related to Xun Che.
TN: All translations outside of Broken Jinsei are stolen and reposted without permission!
If it was him, then there was no need for her to worry over this matter. This kind of confidence, Yu Lingxin also didn’t know where it came from.
Clearly, she still had a stomach full of questions and uncertainties, yet she still instinctively felt that she can trust him, and on major matters, he won’t harm her.
On the contrary, thinking of the meeting this time, Yu Lingxin instead felt very nervous, as if somewhat looking forward to it, yet also having a bit of an indescribable fear.
Just, for Ganlu, and even Yu old madam, seeing her this distracted and restless, they all thought that it was because of thinking about how she will soon be separated by thousands of miles from her mother Qi-shi, and they don’t know how they can help console her.
That’s why, when Yu Lingxin reservedly mention that she wanted to go to a quiet courtyard alone for a stroll, Yu old madam very frankly agreed, just letting Ganlu carefully serve her and don’t walk too far.
Very soon, she just arrived outside Songbai[2] Courtyard. Inside was three connecting guest rooms. To the north of the guest rooms was a lush courtyard, and in the courtyard, there were a few lofty pine trees and a several hundred year old ancient gingko tree that needed more than three people to wrap their arms around its trunk.
Yu Lingxin was increasingly nervous, but still ordered Ganlu to wait in front of the guest rooms, while she went around on her own.
After reaching the backyard, the familiar pine trees and gingko tree, under the glittering summer sun, shone like jade, while accompanied by the occasionally crisp cries of birds coming from Cangcui Mountain, having a very tranquil and refreshing feeling.
Just, this tranquility really was very peaceful, because there wasn’t anyone else in the courtyard.
Yu Lingxin slowly walked around the gingko tree, a thought suddenly emerging in her mind———-who said that he certainly must have invited her to come here?
If Xun Che really had the ability to pass on a message through Bai Guo, then can’t he just directly write her a slip?
Or perhaps just let Bai Guo report to her alone. In any case, she was her servant girl, so what can’t be clearly said to her face?
Actually, when she met Yinxing in the previous life, Yinxing was already eighteen, and also already engaged to Imperial Physician Chi’s nephew. At the time, she also never asked Yinxing when she’d started following Xun Che. Perhaps, dialing back to Tianxu year 13, the young Yinxing still didn’t have anything to do with Xun Che yet.
(T/N: Yinxing was Bai Guo’s name in the previous life.)
Just when she was distracted by her thoughts, light footsteps finally came from the other side of the old tree.
Yu Lingxin’s back immediately stiffened, yet she didn’t continue forward, instead waiting until the footsteps came closer before finally pressing down her rapidly beating heart, forcibly enduring as she lightly asked through the tree, “Ganlu?”
He couldn’t help but chuckle, “Of course not.”
As this familiar voice entered her ears, Yu Lingxin’s entire heart suddenly just relaxed. Those messy emotions a few days ago and those trivial guesses just now seemingly just instantly dispersed.
In fact, she didn’t even realize that in this very moment, her lips had already blossomed into a bright smile. Just, in her words, she still forcibly maintained a polite and courteous tone, “What is Xun-shizi doing here?”
“Naturally because……” He slowly spoke, and at the same time, slowly strolled over, meeting her face to face, “I feel that you want to see me.”
The sunshine in the mountains was even more radiant than the sunshine between the layers upon layers of residences in the capital, the verdant trees also all full of vivid vitality. Even that fresh and clean breeze brushing against the face was that gentle and delightful.
That’s why, everything in this moment actually appeared even more wonderful than normal.
It must be because of this kind of reason that watching Xun Che slowly walk over step by step, Yu Lingxin was actually somewhat in a daze.
They’d merely not seen each other in a few days, yet he seemingly became even more handsome and elegant.
Xun Che’s face shape was the same as his mother, his lower jaw having a beautiful arc, but his brows and eyes instead resembled his father who was a veteran of the battlefield, appearing upright and heroic. His nose was very straight, his thin lips like as if naturally carrying a shallow smile, forever that elegant and easy-going.
However, when Xun Che finally stood still before her, Yu Lingxin’s expression had also retracted, softly protesting, “Who said I wanted to see you.”
“Even if previously you didn’t, when coming to this place, you probably wanted?” Xun Che said with a soft laugh, and at the same time, openly and properly looked at her.
Today’s Yu Lingxin wore a light moon color pleated silk long dress, her hair styled into the most commonly seen on official family young ladies’ jinxiang[3] style. In her hair, there was just a simple white jade hairpin and an elaborate light yellow rose. This kind of simple and clean look increasingly set off by contrast her outstanding beauty.
Xun Che gazed towards her, suddenly feeling that his painting skills actually were still amateur. The Yu Lingxin before his eyes that was this vivid and wonderful, he was still unable to paint out.
And Yu Lingxin, under his burning gaze, increasingly didn’t dare to lift her eyes to look at him directly. At the same time, she recalled that moment earlier when she came over yet didn’t see him, the disappointment practically making her nose go sour, and those random thoughts afterwards further don’t need to be mentioned.
But, there was a saying called ‘even if knowing its a loss, still can’t lose out’! Even if Xun Che was right, she still can’t admit it!
[1] Qingming – literally translates to ‘pure brightness’, also known as Tomb Sweeping Day. It’s the holiday where you go visit your deceased family members’ graves to clean and place offerings.
[2] It was previously mentioned that Song Bai (松柏) means pine and cypress, but it also has a literary meaning chaste and undefiled, which is fitting for a buddhist temple courtyard name.
[3] As seen below.
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