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Fishing For Information (1)
T/N: Translated by Jen on Broken Jinsei! Please do not repost my translations! All translations outside of Broken Jinsei are stolen and reposted without permission!
This sleep, however, wasn’t very peaceful. The ‘dreams’ closely arrived one after another.
Just, the ‘little crown prince’ faintly felt that these probably weren’t dreams, but rather memories that originally belong to this body.
At a certain moment, the ‘little crown prince’ violently opened his eyes, his train of thought somewhat chaotic, momentarily unable to come to his sense. A faint light and faint sounds of footsteps immediately halted his train of thought. The ‘little crown prince’ lifted his leg, sandwiching the thin blanket and rolling half a circle, having the thin blanket hugged in his arms.
He saw Gong mama’s eyes flash with a look of relief. Sure enough, this current appearance of ‘his’ was actually ‘correct’. The him that slept properly completely didn’t match with their perception of the little crown prince.
“Your Highness, it’s time to get up.” Gong mama approached and softly said.
Following the fragmented images from the ‘dream’, he slowly sat up with his eyes still half closed, appearing as if still sleepy, just letting them fix him up.
And the ‘little crown prince’ also took this time to comb through the ‘dream’. Regardless of what he was like on the inside, it all didn’t show on the surface. Because of the environment he grew up in, he actually already learned to hide his emotions at a very young age. Because even if he were to cry like a normal child, he still won’t be able to obtain anything that he wanted. Furthermore, he has already sat on the throne for two years, so it was further impossible for him to let others easily make out his thoughts.
And the scenes in the ‘dream’, some were lively, some were joyous, but most importantly, there was imperial mother. Even if he has never personally met her before, but, from the many paintings his imperial father left behind, he remembered every single detail. It was absolutely her. Because of this bit, he nearly couldn’t contain himself.
Some things were the same, while some things were completely different. This also helped him determine that this body right now was his, yet also not his. Yes, because it was the same body, yet not, because of having grown up completely differently.
The scenes in the ‘dream’ really made one envious, like as if getting nibbled away by thousands of ants. This kind of jealousy was very ugly, but so what? He was the emperor that sat upon the mountains and rivers, but he was precisely jealous of his other younger self that constantly got miserably sorted out by imperial father!
He didn’t have a mother since birth. In outsiders’ eyes, his mother was even unknown. His imperial father was cold towards him, and as his only family, he often didn’t see him for ten days to half a month. Sometimes, it was even three to five months. His status was incomparably esteemed, possessing the best of everything, but what use was that?
The little brat in the ‘dreams’ was able to act spoiled and shameless in imperial mother’s arms, and even if similarly not liked by imperial father, he nevertheless was still able to see him everyday and won’t get ignored, even having a bunch of playmates, getting doted on, getting loved, and getting flattered. It was just having a bit more homework, just needing to get up a bit early in the morning, just getting coldly reprimanded a few words, that’s all! What did that count as! What did that count as! To actually, because of this bit of matter, just throw a tantrum and be in a fit?! Practically unforgivable! If able to let him have these, then even if letting him learn ten times or even a hundred times more things, he all won’t mind. He will be diligent; he will exhaust his abilities!
He originally thought that some thoughts from his childhood, he’d already forgotten. Especially after ascending the throne, he very rarely would go recall them. But, after unknowingly entering the body of his other self due to unknown reasons, discovering something completely different, he realized, turns out, he’d never forgotten. It just got pressed at the bottom of his heart, fermenting little by little. Even if just a bit of incitement, it can all cause it to erupt. And now, it was practically just like a prairie fire, his emotions just getting thoroughly ignited. Never mind if never having, but why was his other self just able to have? Never mind if they were different people, but they were even the same person! Why, why, why!?
Gong mama keenly sensed from the little crown prince’s body dark clouds and dense sorrow. She greatly furrowed her brows, slowly kneeling down, facing the little crown prince. Under his closed eyes, there hung two droplets of tear, greatly startling Gong mama. Never mind prior to his Majesty returning from war, even after he returned, sorting him out from time to time, no matter how low his mood was, one still didn’t see him shed a single drop of tear. “Your Highness, what’s the matter?”
The ‘little crown prince’ opened his eyes, “Mama, I recalled just now that last night I had a nightmare. Imperial mother and imperial father didn’t want me anymore. Everyone all didn’t want me anymore. It was pitch black all around, and can’t see anything. No matter how I shouted, no one answered me. I was so scared.” The tears fell like rain, appearing very pitiful.
Gong mama used the handkerchief to wipe away his tears, softly saying, “Your Highness, dreams are always the opposite of reality. His Majesty and her Highness absolutely won’t abandon you. His Majesty is just a bit petty-minded, his heart only able to contain her Highness. That’s why, he’s a bit cold towards you, but don’t take it to heart. You have to know, when it comes to others, under normal circumstances, they won’t even be able to obtain a glance from his Majesty. And her Highness further don’t need to be mentioned. No one loves your Highness more than her. Just, his Majesty is a vinegar jar, unable to tolerate others being close to her Highness. Her Highness is also considering for your Highness’s sake, worrying that your Highness will get punished by his Majesty, thus occasionally would appear a bit indifferent. That’s why, those dreams and whatnot, absolutely can’t be counted.”
The ‘little crown prince’ discovered that Gong mama also wasn’t the same. In his memories, she was solemn, stiff, and cold, going by the rules for everything. Right now, she practically felt like a different person. Perhaps she was still strict, but she nevertheless carried a faint warmth. Moreover, she actually dared to this brazenly talk about imperial father. Never mind her strict personality not allowing her to do this kind of thing, this gut really was quite big. And from the ‘dreams’, he learned that she seemingly has always been by imperial mother’s side.
TN: All translations outside of Broken Jinsei are stolen and reposted without permission!
“How long has mama been by imperial mother’s side?” The ‘little crown prince’s’ eyes carried a bit of curiosity, seamlessly beginning to fish for even more information.
“About eleven years. When her Highness was still back at Qi’an Fu, she was still less than twelve.” Speaking of this, Gong mama also faintly reminisced. Time sure passed quickly.
The ‘little crown prince’ remained silent. If his understanding isn’t wrong, Gong mama has always been his imperial father’s person, so for what reason did she go to imperial mother’s side to serve that early on? That’s why, the root cause was still on his imperial father?
Speaking of which, the ‘little crown prince’ didn’t really resent his imperial father. On the contrary, he revered and admired him. Just, he vaguely knew that his mother was gone because of him, and his imperial father had deep feelings towards his mother. Even if his dislike towards him, he didn’t understand when he was young, afterwards, he also came to understand. In the years that his imperial father reigned as the emperor, what kind of days his imperial father lived, he was very clear. What was alive was just an empty shell. Sometimes, he even wished that his imperial father can have someone intimate by his side taking care of him, even if that person might occupy his mother’s position in his imperial father’s heart. That was ultimately his imperial father. Seeing him like that, as the son, how could he not heartache? But, his imperial harem was completely like an empty shell.
Judging from the situation in the ‘dreams’, his imperial father’s temperament was indeed somewhat different. Everything else aside, at least, his body was very healthy.
That’s why, regardless of the reason, for his mother to be able to be alive, and even legitimately stand by imperial father’s side as the mother of the country, it really was great.
“Mama, can you tell me some more about imperial father and imperial mother’s past?” The ‘little crown prince’ appeared completely like a curious baby.
Although there were many ‘dreams’, they were all relatively fragmented, unable to form into completed memories. Moreover, it was obvious that there was even more missing parts. He needed to organize out a completed thread.
Gong mama also didn’t feel there was anything wrong, picking some things to tell the ‘little crown prince’. Although some things weren’t directly pointed out, Gong mama still knew that Jing Wan already knew her origins. That’s why, when telling the ‘little crown prince’, she also didn’t deliberately hide anything.
“So, mama was sent to imperial mother’s side by imperial father? But why? Imperial mother resided far away in Qi’an Fu, and previously, had never been to the capital before, or could it be that imperial father had once gone to Qi’an Fu before? And at that time, just fell for imperial mother?” The ‘little crown prince’ seemingly was full of question marks. However, towards his own imperial father’s history, he was very clear. His imperial father, from birth to his early twenties, never once left the capital. When he met imperial mother, it wasn’t even when his imperial mother first came to the capital. Or could it be that here, his imperial father had actually left the capital before?
“That, this servant doesn’t know. His Majesty’s matter, how is it the servants’ place to make guesses.”
Relying on the advantages of this current body, the ‘little crown prince’ clung to Gong mama and asked even more and even more specific things. In any case, he also didn’t feel it was embarrassing or whatnot.
The ‘little crown prince’ had his imperial father and imperial mother’s overall experiences before and after marrying entirely mapped out clearly. Even if already mentally prepared, he still felt a bit dumbstruck. The disparity was a bit too big. How was ‘unbelievable’ enough to describe it?
Never mind that his imperial father, at twenty-plus, didn’t marry a wife nor take in concubines, and was able to have imperial mother married in as the original di wife, his imperial mother was actually even once engaged to Sun Yi Lin? Didn’t his imperial tutor not even recognize his imperial mother? And now? Was the person still alive? Based on his imperial father’s feelings towards his imperial mother, it’s fine if it was just an ordinary engagement, but if he were to have feelings for imperial mother, then even if his imperial tutor isn’t dead, he still would’ve shed a layer of skin. He really didn’t dare to be certain whether or not his imperial tutor still has a place upon the imperial court right now. However, it wasn’t good to ask too much about this, because it already exceeded the range of pure curiosity. And as for imperial mother’s original husband, she seemingly didn’t even have any connections with him.
The information load was a bit too much. He also needed a moment.
T/N: This arc is mostly the 19yo Li Tian Lin from a parallel universe constantly wanting to strangle his 5yo other self.
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This is undeniably entertaining XD thanks for the translation~